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blueprints are over rated

it was probably 3 months ago that i first asked for help, realizing that i had no idea how to do a project that i could not visualize. learning by doing right, but heres a little secret: i fucking hate learning by doing. dont get me wrong, i understand that once you nail it, the learning is way deeper. thats great, but DIY requires time, maybe twice the time it would ordinarily take since youre learning as you go. so perhaps not best suited to when you have an upcoming deadline. WAIT! how can you say that? what about error based learning, and everything you have come to understand about the value of learning from failue? well, ive definitely become a strong proponent of the benefits of experimentation. at least in theory. but in practice, im not sure that getting thrown in at the end of the pool is the best way to teach a beginner to swim. some will learn, others will never wish to enter the water again, and a small number will need to be fished out from the bottom.
rob suggested that i do a google search. so much for support from Hyper Island. tash gave me a name from a guy in stockholm, probably extremely good for what he charges, but 175 pounds an hour? are you joking? so i found a tutor on a UK website, only thesis coach is not one of the categories they include, so i selected someone who tutors english. Phil seems really patient, but the last thesis he wrote was when he was in school, and hes a good ten years older than me. As I didnt know how to begin a project, what i really needed at this point was help understanding the job at hand. his main advice is what i had seen everywhere: do a literature review looking for a gap in the research, and make that your problem statement. im sure if i was researching something i was somewhat familiar with, i might know a gap wehen i see one, but for a topic you know zero about, gaps are not exactly clearly identified. so i moved on from phil. Next, i was introduced to Carly who seemed unnaturally enthusaiastic about academia, and convinced me that said she could get me to the finish line, a 15,000 word paper in the 10 weeks i then had. while she really seems to understads how to organize a thesis, and her notes on my first draft were helpful, she just wasnt around very much. Im not certain what her health problems are like, but i needed someone I could meet with weekly, just like you might hire at the gym. After 4 weeks, she messaged me saying "I'm sure you will do fine". Er, thats not the coaching i needed.
so now im coachless, but my thesis advisor and i talked today after more than a month of radio silence when i was trying to get my head around this monster, and while im in a far better place than when i couldnt find my way out of the starting gate, she admitted that it will be a push for me to finish in time. oh shit... but its hardly as if im surprised. Maybe im not quite the DIY guy, i dont feel confident that i could teach myself auto mechanix from a youtube video, but im just going to have to try to finish building this house without prior experience, or blueprints. it may not be pretty, but as long as it stands. maybe i should rename my paper, done is better than perfect.

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